Why Let Go?

Why did I have to let him go?

Why did I have to rip my heart out, keep my head high, and walk straight into an unknown future?

Time. It’s about time that I needed to realize my self-worth, my self-respect.

I trusted him, but he couldn’t take the responsibility. I trusted him, I trusted him.

Trust, trust, and trust. Such a small word, that could mean the whole world for someone.

I had to reproach myself again, this time however, a different demon to blame.

I had to let go because it’s more powerful than holding on. And I am powerful. I am The Light. I am The Life. And I’ve never seen a life so full of love and warmth.

I miss my home, a home I will never know. For how can a lost soul find a never existing home. It keeps moving around, giving its best for temporary peaceful moments. A well of love, of light.

Intimacy: The Falling Masks

20140701-135852-50332606
Please note that I have posted this article before (around 2012) on another website. I came across the post by chance and decided to modify it after all the changes that happened in the last few years. Ironically, few things still make sense, even though I changed a lot. Hope you enjoy it!
Intimacy.

Intimacy, as simple as the word is, can be considered one of the most important reasons behind the failure of our relationships, regardless of gender, time, distance, or continent.

The idea behind this post has been the fruit of several personal experiences that I am not planning to discuss here. But after some hindsight and reflecting on the past, these ideas seem more than crucial.

Having several relationships has taught me that any human connection without intimacy is doomed to fail. As a matter-of-fact, any relationship, whether love or friendship, will screw up without intimacy.

The main problem with intimacy is that we do not accept the true nature of our feelings, nor admit to the basic needs of our humanity. Intimacy is the gift of giving without asking, trusting without worrying, believing, dreaming, and all that comes with it. Thus, when we are in a relationship with someone, we try to be intimate and open up until we stand emotionally naked in front of our partner. However, this is not what truly happens in most cases, and many never put down their guards. That’s why the first relationship fails, followed by the second, third, fourth, etc.

People need to see the idea of exposing yourself emotionally to your partner and opening up to the darkest corners of your soul. You can argue that trust is something important here. How could I be so weak and emotional?! How can I trust the other person? But with time you enter a stage of trial and error, shuffling between partners and dates, replaying the same games and techniques.

I fully understand that nature requires the need to have relationships, as we are weak social beings in the end, and we will all have relationships and marriages. But my point here is the lack of intimacy. We do not admit that we are weak human beings. We live in the fear of being loved and left behind, to be cheated on or replaced. Therefore, we start creating those fake masks that show our perfect image to everyone around us. Slowly, we start losing our true identities between all these masks, and our intimate feelings drown deep inside. The symptoms start with the excessive fights over silly stuff until they end with a tragedy, where both partners depart with everlasting scars.

Personally, I learned this the hard way. Sometimes I wish someone told me this years ago, but it is never too late.

Open up and trust yourself. Regain your self-confidence so your partner and friends love you for who you truly are. I know it is very difficult to do this, but sometimes you just need to let go of the resistance, instead of forcing acceptance.

How Rewards Make You an Idiot

Attention.

This is all what our lives spin around from the first moment of birth till after our deaths.

People are obsessed with being rewarded for there achievements more than they care about the achievement itself. This is not limited only to politics or science or music.  I’m not gonna waste time talking about good and bad fame,  nor on the overly used topics of fame.

What I have noticed after I have met a lot of people in my life is that recognition is the bedrock on which they build their lives,  dreams,  jobs,  and ambitions.
They date people they don’t like,  just to get their friends talking about them. They spend sleepless nights working on projects or assignments to reach the highest ranks in their work fields.

Honestly,  I don’t blame them.  This is the way they were raised. From their birth,  parents feed thier kids the spirits of competition. They instruct them to work hard in order to get the recognition they desire.  Does anyone care about enjoying the work done? Do these kids enjoy school instead of working their assess off to get the recognition their parents want? Consequently,  no more creativity prevails amongst today’s kids.

Our minds are busy with the rewards, Nobel prizes, dinners,  lights,  and newspaper articles. Did we leave any space for joy or creativity? Some great people of our age rejected Nobel prizes because they considered them as insults. People are respecting or honoring them because of the Nobel prize,  and not the work or achievement itself.

Work and enjoy the work you are doing.  Fame might come to you,  and it may not.

If you are rewarded by idiots,  then you are more idiotic than them. If you wait for others to give you the good feelings about yourself,  then are doomed,  dead,  not alive.

How to Lead a Stress-Free Life

Well, it seems like it has been ages since I have posted anything on my blog :/
Actually I miss blogging, but I have been very busy lately. A lot of things to finish in a short period of time, and living in stress all the time. Consequently, I decided to blog today about living a stress-free life where you can throw away all worries and clutters.
I will present to you some strategies and techniques that will help you get over each source of stress you have in your daily life.  As they say, it is all in our hands, so that’s why I am telling you that no spas or relaxation centres can help you relieve your stress as much as you can help yourself when you decide to. Follow these quick and easy steps to lead a life full of happiness, without any stress or worries.

Do One Thing Only: Multitasking is what people describe their daily life without thinking about it for a second. The term “multitasking” was used commonly after the technological revolution that the world is witnessing, and what humans did is incorporating this term into their lives without considering the differences between them and machines. Thus, the first step to relieve stress is to do one thing at a time. Do it happily. Enjoy every second while you are doing it, and when you are done, move on to the second task. Multitasking results in loss of focus, improper quality of work, and physical and mental fatigue.  
Remove Competition Stress: Every day, we compete with all people surrounding us to make sure we are the smarter, richer, or sexier. We compete with colleagues at work to get promotions, we compete with our siblings to be our parents’ favourites, and we compete with our partners so that they stay hanged on and don’t leave us behind. This is all because of fear. Fear of insecurity, failure, being left behind, future, etc. So why do you want to create all this mess in your life. Just stay calm and take control of everything you do. This way you’ll stand your ground and shine in your work and society.  

Do Necessary Activities Only: We love to jam our schedules with unnecessary activities and programs that will consume our time without benefits or being finished. Limit your activities to all that give you pleasure and happiness, and forget about the rest. Don’t overbook yourself. Just take all the tasks that make you feel better and joyful.  

Affection in your relationships: Affection and intimacy are the key ingredients of a successful relationship. So do you want to spend your life away from your partner? Go back home early today, invite them out, and bring them presents. A gentle kiss, a nice hug will erase all the times of stress and worries. Believe me, affection can bring you closer to your partner more than words can do.  

Never be Embarrassed of Failing: Unfortunately, we spend our lives trying to be successful in everything we do. So my advice for you is: don’t take failure personally. Look at all the successful people in the world, do you know how many times they failed before reaching the peak? Take all these stories as examples for what you might have to pass through to achieve your dreams.  

I hope these few strategies may help you reduce the stress you live in every day at work and home. I will try to have a sequel for this post with new strategies and techniques.

Until then, enjoy every moment in your life and feel the happiness and gratitude.  

Blessed Be )O(

The No. 1 Leadership Trait You Really Need to be Successful

Most workplace disputes and disasters can be traced back to one thing: a lack of leadership.

So, what’s the absolute No. 1 most important leadership trait in the history of the universe?

After more than 300 votes, here’s how you responded:

Communication skills (78 percent);
Humility (15 percent);
Charisma (6 percent);
Intelligence (2 percent);
Height (1 percent);
Smooth Dance Moves (1 percent).

Believe it or not, it’s all about humility

While as a ridiculously over-tall person I believe that “Height” is a much-overlooked and critically important leadership trait, the correct answer is … humility.

That may seem 100 percent counter-intuitive when you picture today’s stereotypical CEO. But according to various workplace gurus (including Jim Collins and the research team behind the landmark business book Good to Great, as well as recent studies published in the Academy of Management Journal and Organization Science), it’s true.

Leaders who are truly (1) servant-hearted; (2) able to put others and the organization first ; and, (3) willing to listen with humility to other points of view are the ones that people will follow.Thus, if you want to win in today’s hyper-competitive world of work you should (1) hire, promote and retain people who fit that description; and, (2) strive to fit it yourself.

So, I humbly suggest that you ask yourself this question today: Do others see humility in me?If you want to be a truly great leader, the answer should be a resounding “YES.”

This was originally published on Manpower Group’s Employment Blawg.

How To Think Positively – The law Of Attraction

As often as possible, I’m a look-on-the-bright-side kind of boy. I choose to be grateful for whatever I have, instead of focusing on the have-nots. I view life’s challenges as blessings-in-disguise because of the lessons attached to them. I have not always viewed life through this lens, but as a result of shining the light on my own negative thought patterns over the years, I’ve learned to keep a positive outlook and have gained more happiness and inner peace. I love to share my optimism with others and it is usually well-received. But, this type of a disposition is not for everyone. As a matter of fact, some even find positivity to be annoying. I know! I was surprised too. I mean, who doesn’t want to be happy? And who doesn’t want to be surrounded by other happy people? People who are having a rough time, that’s who.

You see, happiness is a choice, but we sometimes forget. There are plenty of things in life that are less than perfect and we could just as easily choose to be happy or unhappy about them. A trait that many happy people share is the ability to accept things as they are. While we don’t have control over everything that happens in the outside world, we can control what happens inside of us: how we choose to think, feel and react to those outside situations. The quality of our lives is determined by those very thoughts and actions. So, why do some deny the truth that we all can have and deserve peace and happiness? Because, flipping the switch can actually be difficult at first, especially when no other way is known.

The way we are conditioned to think is a culmination of events, circumstances and learning experienced throughout our lives known as limiting beliefs. This belief system has taught us to compare ourselves to others, to be competitive, to doubt ourselves, and to choose fear over love in many situations. Chronically unhappy people tend to share the inability to see the world outside of their own foggy lens. They have a perceived tough life or circumstances. And by some measures, this perception may be based in truth. But, in reality, nobody has a perfect life, and we are much too hard on ourselves. It’s only in our own minds that this suffering exists. We must move forward from our past challenges because they don’t define us nor determine our future. For somebody trapped in a negative thinking cycle, however, the optimism, certainty and fearlessness of a positive-thinker can seem unbelievable and, yes, even downright annoying. They don’t realize that they too can reverse their limiting beliefs and shake off their negative energy field.

One of the engrained beliefs that many have is that there is a limited supply of wealth, health, happiness — you name it. So, when they see somebody else exuding one of these traits, instead of being inspired thinking, “I can have this too” they instead go to a place of, “oh great, he/she got all the fill-in-the-blank, and there’s none left for me,” which stirs up negative feelings like resentment, jealousy and self-loathing. These feelings, in turn, tend to manifest into negative actions such as gossiping, self-victimizing or belittling what others have worked for. Unfortunately, exuding this type of negative energy tells the Universe, “I don’t want or deserve to be happy,” and further blocks positive energy and happiness from coming in. We don’t get what we want, we get what we are. The cycle repeats and one becomes trapped with a proverbial grey cloud over their head. But, it doesn’t have to be this way!

For me, it has taken much practice and commitment to unlearn many of my own limiting beliefs, and I, of course, still have bad days and grumpy moods just like everybody else. But, in practicing mindfulness, I’m able to notice these negative thoughts more quickly, give myself an attitude adjustment, and am much better off because of it!

If you are finding yourself trapped in negative thinking patterns and want out, here are some tips to help break the cycle:

Embrace a willingness to change. Be open to a different way of thinking. This is a must and can only come from within. “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” — Buddha

Be able to face the truth. Nobody likes coming to terms with their own fears and negativity, but the only way to chase out darkness is to shine light on it. Free writing is a good way to get to the heart of these blocks. Be open and honest. Ask yourself: What is the negative story I’ve created for myself? How have I abused myself with my own thoughts? In your writing, you will find that, in our own minds, we can be downright nasty to ourselves sometimes!

Forgive yourself and others. Beating yourself up about past negative thoughts and behavior is a negative thought and behavior, and a counter-productive one at that. The same goes for holding grudges against others — you are only hurting yourself by holding onto that negative energy. It’s never too late to start again. Focus on letting go and being joyful in this present moment while embracing the endless possibilities of the future that lies ahead.

Choose an attitude of gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for if we just take the time to look around and soak it all in. From the sun that rises each morning, to the ability to get out of bed and breathe in the air another day, and to being fortunate enough to have all of our basic needs met, we are surrounded by miracles. We, ourselves, are one. Appreciate!

Practice mindfulness. Become aware of your negative thoughts as they come. A meditation practice will help greatly in mindfulness training. You can also try this: Wear a special bracelet on your wrist. Each time you notice yourself having a negative thought, switch the bracelet to the other arm. At first, you might find yourself constantly switching the bracelet back and forth throughout the day. Those little negative buggers creep in constantly, from being stuck in traffic to experiencing a business deal that doesn’t go as expected. But, over time, you will switch the bracelet less and less as you develop an increased awareness. By noticing these negative thoughts as they come, you can stop them from occurring as often and adopt a more positive mindset.

Be of service to others. Being able to help someone else in need is rewarding in itself, but it’s also an incredibly humbling way to shift our own perceptions on life. We are more blessed than we know, and helping others who are struggling helps to put things into perspective.

Accept. There is only so much we can control in our daily lives. The act of accepting reality as it is dealt to us is completely liberating. Save your energy for what you actually have control over.

The good news: Those who are open to it and willing to put in the work can change negative thinking patterns and have a life beyond their wildest dreams! Just work on it one day at a time and you will begin to see the beautiful shift.