Intimacy: The Falling Masks

20140701-135852-50332606
Please note that I have posted this article before (around 2012) on another website. I came across the post by chance and decided to modify it after all the changes that happened in the last few years. Ironically, few things still make sense, even though I changed a lot. Hope you enjoy it!
Intimacy.

Intimacy, as simple as the word is, can be considered one of the most important reasons behind the failure of our relationships, regardless of gender, time, distance, or continent.

The idea behind this post has been the fruit of several personal experiences that I am not planning to discuss here. But after some hindsight and reflecting on the past, these ideas seem more than crucial.

Having several relationships has taught me that any human connection without intimacy is doomed to fail. As a matter-of-fact, any relationship, whether love or friendship, will screw up without intimacy.

The main problem with intimacy is that we do not accept the true nature of our feelings, nor admit to the basic needs of our humanity. Intimacy is the gift of giving without asking, trusting without worrying, believing, dreaming, and all that comes with it. Thus, when we are in a relationship with someone, we try to be intimate and open up until we stand emotionally naked in front of our partner. However, this is not what truly happens in most cases, and many never put down their guards. That’s why the first relationship fails, followed by the second, third, fourth, etc.

People need to see the idea of exposing yourself emotionally to your partner and opening up to the darkest corners of your soul. You can argue that trust is something important here. How could I be so weak and emotional?! How can I trust the other person? But with time you enter a stage of trial and error, shuffling between partners and dates, replaying the same games and techniques.

I fully understand that nature requires the need to have relationships, as we are weak social beings in the end, and we will all have relationships and marriages. But my point here is the lack of intimacy. We do not admit that we are weak human beings. We live in the fear of being loved and left behind, to be cheated on or replaced. Therefore, we start creating those fake masks that show our perfect image to everyone around us. Slowly, we start losing our true identities between all these masks, and our intimate feelings drown deep inside. The symptoms start with the excessive fights over silly stuff until they end with a tragedy, where both partners depart with everlasting scars.

Personally, I learned this the hard way. Sometimes I wish someone told me this years ago, but it is never too late.

Open up and trust yourself. Regain your self-confidence so your partner and friends love you for who you truly are. I know it is very difficult to do this, but sometimes you just need to let go of the resistance, instead of forcing acceptance.

Crestfallen Life

Today, I release another post that I worked on recently. Sometimes, letting go is not about acceptance, it is about giving up the resistance.

Hope you enjoy the reading! 🙂

Crestfallen Life

Morning sunrise, you called upon my name

“What have you done?”, but I cannot take the blame

 

We both fell deeper, giving out our ways

You banged on the walls of my mind, hating all my days

 

I reached the breaking point, had to break your heart of stone

Cracking down these castles of despair, Heavens cannot be alone

 

Take my hand, and let all of this pain fade away

As you played with my mind, skies turned to gray

 

If only I had a compass, for you to find your name

The enchantress, crestfallen life, bowing down in shame

 

Let the young child in me, see the beauty of this world

Make him dream, what life outside this shell can be

 

Beyond The Edge

Breaking down my walls, all the masks had to fall

How could he have seen the phantom behind?

Next to this lake, we walk naked, nothing left to lose

For our kingdom will never be the same again

Cold breezes stop to caress your soft pale skin

You shiver, my shell cannot keep you warm anymore

You speak to me, but the words fail in between our shores

Temporary silence fills the gaps, echoes startle my cores

I grew old in front of your eyes, innocence swept away

You never knew that in them was my hideaway

Now we wait for our lights to know your way back home

It’s a beautiful sight from here, the kindest heart set free

Lost for life, I stood here, a well of starlight and warmth

Enclosed by this crystal pond, my hopes letting go

My walls break down, and suddenly I don’t have to be afraid

For I have seen the light, the truth, the sea, the horizon

You are home, and the sunrise is dreaming of your light

I’m beyond the edge, the phantom gave up, for life has never stopped

 

Smoke and Mirrors

Under the blue skies, we were lost in this paradise

And my heart was beating, like a thousand drums in a choir

 

Brick by brick, we built ourselves a house of dreams

Painted it with rainbow feelings and moonlit promises

 

Darling, who could have known that love hurts like this

 

Next time I create the heavens, I won’t let you down

I’ll deliver you from all of this, smoke and mirrors

 

Eternal walks along my heart, as my time was running out

You sighed shyly, your crystal eyes shining brightly

 

Sweetheart, the horizon was not that far for both of us

 

Temporary serenades tranquil your beautiful loneliness

My fallen angel, life is all yours now, in birth and in death

 

Now sleep well dear heart, for you have been darkly desired

I’ll lay down with you, never forsake your light, dreaming again

The Silence

colors-of-silence

Untouchable, time flew by

Unrecognizable, emotions faded away

Unhearable, whispers uttered swiftly

Outside, at the edge of my sight

You slipped away, without any fight

In this battle of love and hate

We lost ourselves, a turn of fate

Cause baby you are beautiful

In your pain, in your flame

Let yourself shine, beyond my reach

Proud, I will always be, of our days

Don’t regret, don’t blame, and never give up

For life is still young and beautiful

And on this sunny day, I bid farewell

From an ocean, so wild so sweet

A gentle breeze, a sigh of relief  

Untitled

For this week, I am publishing another one of my old writings. I do not know exactly when I managed to write this, but it was a dark time during my undergraduate studies. Looking back on it now, I can understand the pain and darkness that fueled such a writing.

In all cases, the past belongs to the past, there is no point explaining it. Enjoy this piece of writing and hope you can find comfort and acceptance in it.

Blessed Be!

Untitled

Those glossy lips that met and whispered

Under the heavy rain of despair and loneliness.

Incurable feelings that elaborated the broken heart,

It may be just an epiphany, a nonreciprocal love.

Teasing those that had won, to make them unsocial

To immolate their utopia, faltering their confidence.

Shifting the heaven into havoc, persecuting the angels.

I won’t repent; I won’t dig deeper and deeper,

Because I’m going to face all the vague atmosphere,

I’m going to make the wind gust, to remove the ashes.

Crack that hard shell and breathe within inside me.

I’ve lost the time lamenting, trying to awake from the incubus.

What wrong had I done? I’ll drink their blood till the last drop,

My hands will erase every glance and all the favorite haunts.

They don’t know me, I’ve always acted that I care,

Pretending that I’m losing myself into them, begging them.

It’s just a matter of time, that’s for sure……….

Those demons outside, demolishing the captivated saints,

And entangling their white shiny wings with blackness.

Departed love, departed mercy, scratching the holy door,

‘I’m flattered’ as if he’s pleasing his ego……

Blindness is a bless for him, for just crossing the street,

Where all were astonished by his determination and faith.

In spite of coldness kissing the pendulum, freezing the time,

Draining the blood, as if there aren’t any watchers,

Making the pain easier to handle as the body is cut.

Forgiveness in the Hatred Zone

It took a lot of time to actually think about and decide whether publishing the following post is a good idea or not. There is something special about it, something that I could not decipher. It belongs to an old era that vanished a while ago. In all cases, here it is for the world to see.

Forgiveness in the Hatred Zone

I hope my pain turn into smiles upon the lips that gave me pain…

I hope my tears turn into sweet dreams in the imagination that made me cry…

I wish my depression turn into hope in the heart that molted me in depression…

I wish my hell turns into the rain of heavens and quenches the thirst of the deserts that gave fire to my hell…

I hope my loneliness turn into freedom upon the wings that set me in prison…

I wish a rose bloom upon the hands that buried me.

I hope he finds his shore, he who left me shipwrecked and lost…

“Death, love, and art are respectively the soul, the body, and the intellect of life.”